Much Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a huge week for homosexual-related very first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very own first part concerns all of us via xojane, the women’s website oriented upwards by Jane Pratt (my personal character)

(I’m significant) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion belongs to the “it just happened if you ask me” feature which also existed at JANE mag and is made up mostly of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively fascinating individual encounters.

The unknown writer of this piece, who we’ll call “Ariel,” is obviously bisexual, but because she easily provides hit jobs to the woman male partners but doesn’t big date or frequently go lower on women, the woman is, she explains, commercially, only a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She also relates to by herself as “mostly direct” and “direct” at some other factors within the narrative.) Her reputation started, she explains, whenever the woman very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at the woman college — went down on her for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it immediately after which right away fled the world fearing her own incapacity to execute this type of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted time frame.

She writes:

“Needless to say, phrase got around that she and that I had hooked up which I’d kept this lady hanging, which in fact had the strange effect of providing me personally folk-heroine position. Kelly also known as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I found myself one. It actually was like some form of motion picture conceit in which the hero is actually seen erroneously as a hollywood and reaches ride in a limo and remain in a fancy resort for the reason that it.”

This it seems that totally worked out in her own benefit, as she romped about in school starting up with many “aggressive types who had gotten down throughout the idea that I happened to be reluctant to allow a lady touch myself.” Post-college, she managed to move on for the internet, in which she marketed their comfortable condition and often met up with women for NSA intercourse.

Near the conclusion she problematically describes that whenever starting up with a woman she actually is maybe not attracted to, she just closes her vision and envisions somebody else “while [the lesbian] does her thing.” Sometimes it seems like she wants women to consume her away simply because they can be presumably much better at it than guys are. She

could

decrease on them but “I am not matchmaking all of them, and I don’t believe I would personally want to have my fetish corrupted by taking care of someone sufficient to hand back.”

I mightnot need to sit down near to Ariel on a plane, but the woman one-sided sexual encounters are consensual and she actually is just advising a real tale of the woman life, therefore I’m certainly not yes what things to label of this (and that I’m interested to know what you make of it, if something).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Favorable Guys Project
) we have
We Married a Lesbian (and I also’m a Guy)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended attain crushes on a single form of lady: the star baseball user, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some weren’t.” The guy questioned:

The facts that drew me many times to women that happened to be same-sex drawn? It surely was not the stereotypical male fantasy as to what they certainly were doing between the sheets, and it truly had nothing at all to do with a macho opinion that i really could turn a gay lady directly.

In areas, the piece (which really does tred on some stereotypical ground) reminded me personally of your quote from

The Girls Next Door

,
that I cited in articles about feminine maleness
:

“…if we’d to create an added generalization about lesbian taste, it might be that a lot of united states tend to be powerfully attracted to women, gay or directly, beautiful or perhaps not, whom seem just as if they can handle on their own.”

Mcdougal in the course of time marries a lesbian exactly who introduced as right, and then he discovered their unique ensuing love life becoming unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him strike jobs and did not like penetration but gladly accepted their choices of cunnilingus. Whenever their own sexless relationship finished in breakup and a drug relapse (for him), he or she is relatively thoughtful to his ex-wife’s strive as opposed to labeling her as deceitful (as many of commenters carry out):

She had result from a conventional household who have been profoundly embarrassed to own a gay son or daughter. She may have known, but did the lady best to cover it, possibly wishing that the woman emotions might transform. Or she might-have-been like lots of ladies i have identified, and simply discovered her correct intimate identity after currently becoming hitched to men.

What is actually redeeming relating to this essay for me that the author’s conception of his or her own gender is mainly free from the traditional male posturing any might expect in an item such as this (he actually means himself as “femmy”). Maybe it appears that method because males so seldom write about hoping strong, athletic, powerful ladies with short hair; but it is energizing nevertheless.

I don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for informing their particular tales, but it is well worth mentioning that both narratives frequently drive from the concept that bedroom conduct will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s organization, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning indication” the guy skipped, whenever penetration is scarcely a solely heterosexual work (this indicates much more likely Courtney dreaded the intimacy of penetration with a guy she did not truly want to-be with, yet you never know) and slipping in love, eventually, means your own pussy but it’s also regarding your center and it’s largely about having romantic feelings. Those passionate thoughts are what converts a hook-up commitment into a relationship, all things considered.

Ultimately at

neurological.com

we a nice tale right from the pony’s mouth area —
My Personal First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. In my opinion this is the very first time the “First Time” series has featured a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth class, the author confessed to the woman best friend that she had lesbian feelings on her, and her closest friend reciprocated, in addition they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian relationship and they’re nevertheless collectively now and she is a grown-up in the armed forces!

This indicates they will have however to get their unique commitment outside of the cabinet, that will be quite puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Turns out this story ended up being created before DADT ended up being repealed, though it just adopted printed, thus nothing is puzzling occurring here. This is simply straight-up nice in every method, unequivocally.]

The focus in the portion (and that’s very sweet and sweet) is found on mcdougal’s breakthrough of
exactly what lesbian gender is quite
:

We’d never gone down for each some other, and that I ended up being pretty sure that’s what we would meant once we stated we wanted to have intercourse. (Now we know that there is even more to fucking than slurping a woman’s pussy and calling it everyday.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that the majority of men and women differ regarding what virginity means to a gay woman, but virginity is completely personal, also it actually is determined by who you’re inquiring. Some people might state entrance has to be included, but I think it really is around anyone shedding their virginity. Basically feel just like I’ve missing my virginity, subsequently goddammit, i’ve!

I have spent a lot of day and mid-day staring at wordpress, racking your brains on exactly what point i possibly could create about any of these parts. I was thinking plenty about the reason we’d never release “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about internet site but are unable to get past the reason that I would worry 50 people would vow to never come back here and also the remaning many-thousands of you would battle together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure till the heating death of the world. We envisioned somebody submitting “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to united states via e-mail and We thought the article conference in which we’d reach that story and all sorts of state “NO” likewise.

In trying to find a time to gleam because of these stories, I’ve tried to figure out what might imagine or state, and that I cannot, and I should finish this post quickly to increase the entire process of myself determining how you feel about these tales. Yup, the very first time since beginning Autostraddle, I had gotten little idea things to say about a thing. Therefore possibly i ought to merely ask you — what is your reaction to these parts?